Okay, I couldn't resist: it's late, I'm still thinking clearly, thanks to four Dunkin' Donuts chocolate Munchkins and some of my magic tea, so here goes:
I've been thinking a lot about how people are so adamant to have 'tolerance' in this world. I like defining words before I discuss them, because people seem to be on different pages in common modern communication. It's like people want to make up their own definition for words and then expect other people to get what they're saying. That will be a theme in other posts I write.
So, here's the dictionary.com definition (I even have a problem with that, given the fact that meanings change with every publication of the dictionary. Dictionaries in the 1800s were way more accurate than the ones today.):
TOLERANCE:
- a fair, objective, and permissive attitude toward opinions and practices that differ from one's own.
- interest in and concern for ideas, opinions, practices, etc., foreign to one's own; a liberal, undogmatic viewpoint.
- the act or capacity of enduring.
I find the last one interesting, mainly because it gives the impression of 'putting up with' someone or something.
I don't know about you, but I'd rather be 'loved' than 'tolerated'. I tolerate rashes and bugs and long speeches. The next definition the dictionary offers is proof that we as a culture have fallen flat on our faces in defining love and even moreso in doing it.
'Love', according to modern dictionaries, means, among other things, 'a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person; sexual passion or desire; a person toward whom love is felt; a love affair; sexual intercourse; copulation; a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid...' etc.
According to this definition of love, it is supposedly a 'feeling', like gastrointestinal pain, or the urge to go have a shot of whiskey. No wonder people end marriages and sex partners are traded like a stock on the NASDAQ. When the 'feelings' go, so does the union (I don't say 'commitment' because, apparently, it wasn't).
The bible talks about three kinds of love: 'Phileo', or, brotherly love; 'Eros', or sexual love; and 'Agape', or total, sacrificial love. God calls us to 'agape' our neighbors, and even 'Love (agape) your enemies' (Matt. 5:44).
Does that mean we're supposed to 'feel affection' for our enemies, or have sex with them? I'm pretty sure even non-believers in the bible would agree, no.
'Agape' means 'to be full of good-will and exhibit the same; to have a preference for, wish well to, regard the welfare of.'
Love is an act. I guess it just chaps my hide when I hear everyone preaching 'tolerance' and wanting it for themselves while no one wants to 'love', or act in the best interest of their fellow human being. So what is the true meaning of 'love'?
Love is an act. I know...I already said that. But, to clear confusion, this is what love looks like. These are examples of love. Print it out. Add your own. Try it. Remember the movie 'Pay It Forward'? That's along these lines. Oh; and these things should be done for people from whom you have no expectation of repayment...even people who may downright infuriate you. Tolerance will say "Just walk away so there's no trouble". Love says "Show kindness. Do something for them, or just put your arm around them". Life's not easy for anyone. You showing someone love could change their destiny:
1.Trimming your irritating neighbor's bushes when he can't do it for himself, even though he called the cops on you when your dog made on his lawn.
2. When a coworker calls you a son of a motherless goat, you simply smile and keep your mouth shut, or tell him you like his (tie, shoes or Neil Diamond screensaver)
3. Don't huff and puff in the grocery line, but engage your linemates in conversation, easing the tension among them, too. Chances are, the cashier really doesn't want to be there either, and your positive words will relieve things.
4. When an enemy deceives, swindles, maligns or verbally assaults you, don't slander him. Don't gossip about him. Just shrug your shoulders and say, 'It could've been worse.' I don't have to add how it could be worse, but it always could be. You could be the guy who feels he has to deceive, swindle or verbally assault. No one who lives like that has peace.
There are many more ways you can show love, but now it's 3:30 in the morning and I'm starting to fade. I think I've made my point. Comments are welcome.
1 comment:
The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language (AHD) is the dictionary for you.
It is an American dictionary of the English language published by Houghton Mifflin (Boston), the first edition of which appeared in 1969. Its creation was spurred by the controversy over the Webster's Third New International Dictionary. James Parton, the owner of the history magazine American Heritage, was appalled by the permissiveness of Webster's Third, published in 1961, and tried to buy the G. and C. Merriam Company so he could undo the changes. When that failed, he contracted with Houghton to publish a new dictionary. The AHD was edited by William Morris and relied on a usage panel of 105 writers, speakers, and eminent persons for usage notes.
Google "American Heritage Dictionary define tolerance"
"The capacity for or the practice of recognizing and respecting the beliefs or practices of others."
As in: I recognize that you profess the false Millenarian doctrine and I respect that you profess the false Millenarian doctrine. I put up with it. I am not calling for you to be burned at the stake for holding false doctrine.
I also recommend to you a book (an audio version of which, recorded by C.S. Lewis, was once lent to me by Pam's husband, Pat):
"The Four Loves" is a book by C. S. Lewis which explores the nature of love. By distinguishing need-love (such as the love of a child for its mother) from gift-love (epitomized by God's love for humanity), Lewis happens upon the contemplative that the natures of even these basic categorizations of love are more complicated than they, at first, seem. As a result, he formulates the foundation of his topic ("the highest does not stand without the lowest") by exploring the nature of pleasure, and then divides love into four categories, based in part on the four Greek words for love: affection, friendship, Eros, and charity. It must be noted, states Lewis, that just as Lucifer perverted himself by pride and fell into depravity, so too can love become corrupt by presuming itself to be what it is not ("love begins to be a demon the moment he begins to be a god"). A perversion which mother-love is sometimes prey to.
Love is always relational. It must have an object. It is an act, indeed. I like the C. S. Lewis point that "the highest does not stand without the lowest." Here in this earthly world, we reside in the flesh. God became flesh. He understands.
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